Here, in the thick of resolution season, the "shoulds" and "should nots" arise to constrict habits and behavior. By the end of the month many of those resolutions fail. We adhere to the "should", maybe even more strongly than our original standard, then we feel like we "should" stay there or "do better". Then, if we fail to meet the increasingly unsustainable standards, we punish ourselves with guilt. A build up of guilt often flips to defiance and we abandon the resolution completely. So how do we navigate this?